Painting with the heart

When you look at a painting, do you see it with your eyes or your heart? This is an interesting thought that occurred to me just now whilst I was half-way through a painting. I was hurriedly pushing the oil around on the canvas - desperate to offload how I felt. I stood back and sat down, as I hadn't realised how heavy my legs felt after painting for so long. Staring at my newest of creations, a non-welcomed thought passed over me - 'what if people don't 'get it'?'

Something in my brain was telling me to ignore this worry, and carry on. Unconsciously though, my thoughts still continued - 'Will it look just a colourful mess to others?'

I then realised something - something really important in creating art. Why is that I create? For others?...No. For a great-looking painting?....No. For something that somebody on the planet will love?...No.

I paint, not because I want a nice painting. Not even because I like flowers. It's because inside me...somewhere...is this feeling, that is different every time, that needs to escape. And honestly, I don't know how to let that feeling out other than painting.

I understand that when others look at my artwork, they don't recognise or see my weakness that I was feeling that day. But that's what makes it even more special. I am the only one that can read it the way it was written.

So after that confusing random epiphany, I will now continue to just make marks where I want, and how I want. And show that worrier in the back of my mind - that she can talk to the hand!!

Love Katie x